eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place. koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat The Fucking Bombs
oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is starvation, because
1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc everyone’s doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die
2) idiots can’t die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smoker’s lung from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their organs like khaki black. like some fuckin dark!steve irwin costume well better piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let em
by the way i never elaborated on “koalas sit in trees all day screaming” but heres a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound like
Also, it doesn’t matter that they’re eating brain-killing poison, because their brains are already tiny, and smooth rather than folded they way most animal brains are to increase neuron surface area. Also full of holes? These animals are so fuckin dumb, they’re basically like if vertebrates tried to evolve a scale insect.
Fucking dumbasses I love them
so they’re the terrestrial equivalent of sunfish?
im crying omg
What’s the bird equivalent
WITHOUT A DOUBT it is the kakapo, the cutest yet worst-evolutionarily-pranked bird in existence
their natural instinct when faced with danger is to just…freeze and not move….which is basically one tiny step above just walking into the hungry maw of the invasive cat/ferret/rat/raccoon/etc etc
they are also Very Bad at mating and, oh btw, mate only ONCE EVERY 5 YEARS OR SO when one particular berry (the Rimu fruit) has a good year
anyway they are the worlds heaviest parrot and only flightless one, can weigh like 4kg/9 pounds (BIG FRIEND), and if they can avoid being blissful evolutionary dum dums can live 60 TO 100 YEARS if only they can keep it together, bless them
Oh my god
It is illegal for me to not include this video
They don’t ‘forget how to fly’ - Kakapo’s will climb trees and then yes, jump to then glide down. Its not always elegant.
I don’t think people understand how the kakapo literally evolved to suit it’s enviroment and it was super well adapted!!!! Until settlers brought cats and dogs and foxes becauseNEW ZEALAND HAS NO NATURAL MAMMILIAN PREDATORS because birds like the kakapo and the kiwi only had to worry about like, hawks and eagles. And that’s it. They’re not dumb! They’re not evolutionarily backwards! They are literally dying out because of introduced species killing them that they naturally have no defense against!
If you only had to worry about flying birds, you wouldn’t have to worry about anything finding you by scent; which means you can afford to be slow and conserve energy. Kakapos freeze when they meet a predator because their plumage is super suited to blending in seamlessly to its natural habitat. If your predator uses sight to track prey and if that prey can camouflage then buddy!! That’s a good defense mechanism!!
People often assume that evolution is a process like levelling an RPG character into an unkillable god.
It is not.
Evolution is basically a guy who puts character builds together for the sole purpose of exploiting the game mechanics for funsies.
Meet the skimmer.
Skimmers have evolved to fly along the surface of the water with their lower bill partly underwater, grabbing whatever they bump into.
This is a completely ridiculous means of feeding and nothing besides the three skimmer species does it. Dragging their bills through the water creates huge amounts of drag, so they need more energy to fly than usual and specialised skull and neck adaptations to avoid ripping their own heads off. Skimmers also cannot see what their bills touch underwater, they just stick them in the water and hope for the best while trying not to crash into stuff and break their bills (which happens).
Skimmers are exactly as ridiculous as koalas but by god they’re going to do their thing.
“Evolution is basically a guy who puts character builds together for the sole purpose of exploiting the game mechanics for funsies.” is one of the best descriptions of evolution i ever heard. It doesn’t matter if your build is a joke build, it just has to work. A good part of the fun in studying evolutionary biology is finding out HOW IN HELL do these joke builds actually work. Everyone can look at a wolf and say “what a perfect predator, the terror of every herbivore, i stan”, but finding out why his distant cousin, the maned wolf, decided to walk on stilts,eat berries and practiced what’s basically ant-assisted agricolture? That’s when the fun begins.
Fun fact: anytime you hear a story that boils down to “and then some ABSOLUTE FOOL sued this totally innocent megacorporation for assloads of money AND WON! Can you believe it? Ridiculous. Some people, right?” 99 times out of 100, the corporation super fucked up, the plaintiff 100% deserved that money,.and you’ve just been fed corporate propaganda.
I scrolled my facebook and saw my own mother write this scathing, vague subliminal post dragging the “fakes” and the “frauds” so I told her to stop cursing on Facebook because I want her to be pure. Then later she posts a Kermit the frog sipping tea meme (screencapped from another facebook post and cooked with a filter) that says “People don’t like me [BOTTOM TEXT] But still be on my friends list!” So now I’m going to delete her facebook app. My own 50 year old mother will never get into internet social media drama I will not allow this she’s just gonna have to throw hands with her auntie in real life.
i really dont know how to say this properly but calling women “raw” and “un-pretty” for simply existing without makeup is really so fucking stupid and counter-intuitive like we dont tell men they look raw or unhandsome for not putting makeup on like.
like SHUT UP about mitski looking ugly and raw for going on camera untouched bro it really speaks volumes as to how this “let women be ugly” movement ESPECIALLY in regards to nonwhite women is so fucking….messy
I wonder. I was watching this documentary on a serial killer who, as a 15 year old, killed his grandparents because he “wanted to see what it was like to kill grandma” and then didn’t want his grandfather to be alone and murdered him. He was tried as a child and had his record expunged.
But a young black girl can be tried as an adult for killing her rapist.
I wonder what I would find if I looked up statistics of being tried as an adult and race. Given how often poc children are treated with inherently less empathy and seen as adults.
Zero plot twist.
I took a class on race, gender, and the criminal justice system and I can confirm
Not only that but the guy who was tried as a juvenile was sent to a mental health facility not prison. He ended up getting released and went on to kill 6 women and his own mother. His name was ed kemper.
And let me be clear on this: the justice system gave ed kemper a second chance at a normal life full well knowing that he could have gone on to do more crimes. They took that chance because he was a nice white boy. But they’re willing and capable of throwing a child of color away without even a secons thought for what that child might have been. And if that isnt a tragedy i dont know what is.
I wonder. I was watching this documentary on a serial killer who, as a 15 year old, killed his grandparents because he “wanted to see what it was like to kill grandma” and then didn’t want his grandfather to be alone and murdered him. He was tried as a child and had his record expunged.
But a young black girl can be tried as an adult for killing her rapist.
I wonder what I would find if I looked up statistics of being tried as an adult and race. Given how often poc children are treated with inherently less empathy and seen as adults.
Just wanna bring this back to point out that david has also posted domestic violence “jokes” & a drawing of a swastika as plaza posts so I don’t think defending him is the hill u wanna die on & by looking at his twitter he is 100% homophobic thanks goodbye
This is my Dad’s Short he made in 1975 called Violator on the Hook. It’s about a Tow Truck driver in Philly. It aired on my show Movie Stuff this past friday as well as the other links below. It was a 70′s public servant theme.
